Billy and the Cloneasaurus

oily-sexuality:

yariman:

“Sit on his lap at a party. Then, subtly shift your weight back and forth over his package until he’s good and riled up. No one will know but the two of you.”

-April 2011 Cosmo

NO. Everyone knows, and we’re all grossed out that you’re jerking your boyfriend off with your asscheeks in the middle of a crowded room. Go home, your invite has been revoked. 

It can go straight to hell tbh. Anything that makes me bust out a screwdriver will accept its fate of rotting on top of unread issues of Harper’s Bazaar.